Jesus, Our Anchor in the Midst

The past couple months have been pretty crazy for our little family. I mean our boys are oblivious to it all, but Jesse and I are very keenly aware. Our vacation to the states ended by us adding two more weeks than planned because of all the political unrest in Port-au-Prince and surrounding cities (huge thank you to those who made that extra two weeks possible!). Our community in Gwo Cheval was almost completely untouched by the “dezòd” (craziness), but we couldn’t get home without flying into and driving through where there were road blocks and people with weapons and all that sort of thing.

Once we made it home we had about a week and a half to settle-in and get ready for a team coming from our home church Cornerstone Church Milwaukee. There was unpacking and cleaning and reconnecting with our community and school staff meetings and new student registration and construction planning and material ordering and all that sort of thing – and in the midst of our busy life here, my best friend and her husband were experiencing a traumatic birth and devastating loss of their third born, Seraphina Rose, and then in the midst of that our baby number four was miscarried. We were (and are) mourning for them and us in the midst of so much life and craziness swirling around…

We had two weeks of teams and visitors and construction and summer school and teacher training and normal-hard Haiti life. Then in the midst of it, a husband of one of our staff members intensified family issues (he IS the issue by the way) which has left us all speechless and not knowing what to do…

This life is a crazy one… and I know we are not the only ones experiencing it. There is so much tragedy and loss in the midst of so much fun and life. And in the midst of it all Jesus is our Anchor. When we place our trust in Him and follow Him and look to Him in the midst of triumph or in the midst of tragedy we will find our focus again. The anchor of a ship keeps it from being thrown off course during a storm, but that doesn’t mean the ship won’t waiver a bit… there may be doubts and fears and distraction, but when Jesus is our Anchor we know our center and our life with Him will continue no matter what happens in the midst of this life.

My prayer is that each one of us would find our sure footing in Jesus, no matter what we are in the midst of.

No Fear in Death

We have been living in Haiti for four and a half years now and have had plenty of unusual experiences. Let me share one that occurred only a few months ago…

Just outside of our front gate there is a very large square cement structure sitting in between our yard and the school building. In the past there has been wet laundry set out to dry on it, neighborhood kids have played games on it, teams have laid out in the sun on it, and various guests have had their quiet time with Jesus on it. But what is its actual purpose you may wonder? It is a grave. Our neighbor’s mother-in-law had been buried there for several years. Our plans for the land did not involve the grave and so the neighbor made arrangements for it to be opened and his mother-in-law’s remains to be transferred. Not your typical agreement when buying land, huh?

Well the day came for the opening of the grave and the removing of the casket. Four bosses came with sledge hammers, spices, cologne and a large bottle of rum. The sledge hammers were to open the grave, the spices and cologne were for the possible odor once the grave was open and the rum was to help with their nerves. In Haitian culture there are a whole lot of beliefs revolving around death, but the base of it all is fear. People spend hundreds and thousands of dollars to give someone a “proper” burial even if that means that the remaining family goes hungry. The reason? They don’t want the deceased to come back and haunt them. The bosses wanted something to dull their fear.

There are so many in our community who fear death and go along with the cultural traditions that are supposed to ward off death and the dead. Even within the church there is a prominent fear of death. But the Gospel frees us from that fear! Jesus conquered sin, hell and the grave and so if we are in Him, we can confidently declare that Jesus is alive! Because He is alive, we are alive and we will never die. His life gives us eternal life. Our bodies will quit one day, but our spirit will live on forever. Death, where is your sting? Grave, where is your victory?

I love the song “In Christ Alone” and there is one line that is a perfect close for these little thoughts of mine – “No guilt in life, no fear in death. This is the power of Christ in me.” There is no room for fear in the love of Jesus. His love conquers every fear. Be blessed in His love today!

- Kirsten

Spring Gardening

We are just about finished up with over a month full of visitors, projects, encounters with God and new relationships! Jesus continues to prove Himself more than faithful in honoring His promises towards us. He’s called us to work in many different ways in our community and each of them are progressing steadily as He leads us!

The well-watered garden had a great first season last Fall with potatoes and beans. We compared the garden with a normal Haitian garden and were astonished at the results. For every 8 potatoes planted in the normal Haitian garden, I planted 1 in the well-watered garden. The Haitian garden used about twice the amount of land space and the same amount of fertilizer per plant. In the well-watered garden we used compost and manure when planting (free resources besides some labor in the off season) as well as God’s blanket which is just a covering of mulch over the whole garden. The two gardens produced the same volume of potatoes and the well-watered garden potatoes were twice the size! We are hoping to continue demonstrating these techniques, sharing the testimonies and eventually find a few Haitians willing to begin implementing these methods. Once some of the locals experience the fruit of Farming God’s Way the ideas and implementation will really begin to spread!

I just finished up preparing our garden to plant 6 rows of corn and 3 rows of bean/peas. Sitwayen and Woody happily joined in on the labor to earn a few dollars! I did a quick weeding then we added some more compost to our rows to continue developing our raised bed garden. We used our teren rope and row pegs to hole-out our planting stations and furrows. We added manure to each hole as well as in the furrows then covered it with some soil. We thanked God for the opportunity to work and asked for His blessing on our garden. We now are waiting for the rain to start in order to plant our seed.

As we approach Passover and the Feast of Unleavened bread I think of how great our Father’s preparation was in order to redeem mankind to Himself! He had created the most wonderful garden ever imagined. Then the weeds of sin entered His perfectly beautiful creation. Though it was going to be difficult, He set His weed removal plan in action. In generation after generation, God Almighty showed how He was able remove the curse of sin, which was eternal death and separation from Him, and replaced the curse with blessing. He showed Noah that faith in God was enough to save his family from destruction. He showed Abraham that his faith would set him apart from the world around him. He showed Moses that his faith would deliver a nation of people from oppression and despair. He showed Joshua that his faith would bring a nation into its inheritance. He showed David that his faith meant that there was no giant too big to keep God from blessing His people. And He showed Mary that her faith would deliver the Messiah from God into our world. He would become the Firstborn among many brethren, the most fruit-bearing seed ever planted, still bearing fruit today!

Gardening is a demonstration from God in so many ways. As we were working I was able to put some of the chaos of the world into good working order ready to bear fruit. If you trust God and let Him have His way in your life He WILL bear fruit through you! There’s going to be some weeding and some digging, but when the harvest comes you’ll know it was all worth it!

Setting the Pace

I wouldn’t call myself a ‘runner’ and in all honesty I don’t think I could call what I do ‘running’, BUT three times a week (except for days of being sick or injured) for the past few months Jesse, Jenna and I have been lacing up and hitting the roads, trails and paths of our mountain community. Jesse and I started a list of things we want to do and experience together – running a half-marathon being one of them – and since at this moment I am not pregnant and we have an extra pair of hands to help watch the boys, we decided it would be the perfect time to start training and check one thing off the list. (The half we are running is part of a fund raiser we are hosting (The Big Horse Challenge) to raise money for solar power for Cornerstone School of Truth. For more info check it out on the home page of this website).

I have done a half-marathon once in my life, before Jesse and I were “us”. Since that time I have given birth to three boys within a four year timeframe (just in case you were wondering that means over 27 months being pregnant) – needless to say my body and physical capabilities are juuuuuust a bit different than they were in my early twenties. Training has been difficult and great and terrible and fun all at the same time. Every Sunday we do our “long run” and during these long runs (which now are up to 10 miles) I have been learning a lot about the importance of pace and vision. Like I said before I wouldn’t call what I do “running.” I jog… slowly. But for a long run that’s ok. The goal is to pace yourself so that you finish without your body giving up on you. And having vision of the finish line is crucial for me. If I know where I am headed and know when I can stop, I can keep going. I can finish the race and as long as I keep my pace, I can finish it well. 

As I have been on this half-marathon training journey, comparing my walk with Jesus to a foot race has been fresh on my mind.

Pace: Jesse and Jenna both run faster than I do. At times that spurs me on to push myself a little more, but other times I just accept the fact that we have different abilities and I cheer them on and keep to my own pace – the pace I know I can finish well with. As we run this race of life in community, we spur each other on in our callings, but we must remember that though we run together, we each have our own race to complete. We have to keep to the pace that God has called us to and not compete or compare with those who seem to be running faster. We each have different capabilities and need to know our lane in order to finish and not push ourselves so hard that we end up giving up and falling out of the race.

Vision: If our eyes are not fixed on Jesus during this marathon of life, we will so easily get discouraged and want to quit. It is said that without vision the people perish (Proverbs 29:18), and how easy it is for me to give into sin and selfishness if I do not constantly remind myself that I will one day see Jesus face to face. My vision must be locked on Jesus for me to walk this life out to completion for Him.

Though we get tired, discouraged or bored even in this marathon of following Jesus, we must remember to pace ourselves for the “long run” and keep our eyes fixed on Jesus, our ultimate finish line.

“… and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking to Jesus the author and finisher of our faith…” Hebrews 12:1-2

- Kirsten

Beauty In The Chaos

Chaos… I don’t particularly like it and yet it seems that most aspects of life in Haiti can provide the definition. I like order. I like predictability. I like things clean and tidy and put together. I suppose to simplify it: I like control.  But nothing is ever truly in our control is it? The combination of being a mom of three little boys plus being married to a man who thoroughly enjoys exploring the unknown plus helping direct a Haitian school plus living in this nation has caused me, pushed me and shoved me into the place of surrender time and time again.

Surrender has been a beautiful and difficult journey, but I have found that giving in and not fighting for control is the best route. I can either live with this inner struggle for control which takes my peace, joy and love and makes me a very difficult person to deal with (just ask my hubby) OR I can give in, give up, let go and trust God.

Michelove, CST Student

A few months ago I was in another cycle of fighting for control (funny how these cycles of refinement just keep on coming, huh?). There were SO many little things within our school that I was frustrated with and wanted to see change. I was being critical of our staff, our methods, our director (who did I mention is my husband? Oops.) and all I wanted to do was go in there and run everything myself which of course I couldn’t do because I was “stuck” at home with my three energetic little boys. I was annoyed and frustrated and again a difficult person to deal with. After praying about it I decided to go over to the school one morning to simply observe. God nudged me to go over with zero expectations, zero criticism and to view things with His eyes. And do you know what I saw? Beauty. Love.  Joy. Jesus at work.

Out of what in my view was chaos, Jesus was changing hearts and lives. Students who didn’t smile and barely spoke a word last year were laughing and playing and learning. God used one little girl, Michelove, to really open my eyes. This little girl would barely talk to anyone last year and I watched her stand up in front of the entire school and pray for the lunch meal in English! The beauty of it brought me to tears. In the end it is truly all about people, isn’t it? We can have the most perfect programs that run smoothly and everyone can be doing exactly as they should be and performing at the highest level, but if there is no inner change what does it matter? If hearts are still left empty without a touch from God, what good is all the order?

When I look at the world, our ministry, my own life I need to see and remember that God works in and through and in the midst of so much chaos. I want to learn to surrender to Him more, trust Him more and see life through His eyes more. God brings so much beauty through the chaos.

- Kirsten